Missed Chances
by lisehrin
Summary: Sometimes you have to take a chance to get what you want. Tony & Angela.


Disclaimer: All things WTB? related are not mine, but this story is.

Missed Chances  
  
Missed chances, they haunted her. They followed her around, even in her dreams. Angela sighed as she pulled off her glasses and sat back from the desk. She had long ago resolved not to regret the past. Instead, she tried to focus on the present – and the future. The problem was that whenever she pictured her future, Tony was in it. This wouldn't be a problem except that with their relationship being undeclared and rather ambiguous, it meant that there were no guarantees to the surety of that vision. Most of the time she was fine with just being friends with him. But there were times she hated herself, hated him for the weakness and fear that prevented them from becoming something more. There were moments when she was sure they were about to take the next step. Electric moments where they shared a glance or a touch and the love and desire seemed so near the surface. Then one of them would grow nervous and pull away or change the subject, pretending as if the moment never happened. It wasn't only Tony, she knew she was guilty of it too. Always afterwards, she regretted not being braver, for allowing another opportunity to pass.  
  
So this was why she had been sitting in her office for most of the evening, staring absently at files and shuffling papers instead of actually accomplishing anything. It had been a miserable week. Miserable because she and Tony had been fighting and were barely speaking to each other. Miserable because she knew they were being childish. And miserable because she didn't want to be the first to apologize but secretly believed she would.  
  
The whole thing started with Jonathan wanting to go on a camping trip with a bunch of his friends from school. She objected because there was no adult supervision, and because the trip was co-ed. That probably would have been the end of it, except that Jonathan had convinced Tony to argue his case. Under pressure from the two most important men in her life, she reluctantly gave in. Unfortunately, the trip didn't go as well as anyone had hoped. There was trouble and some drinking and the police were called in. Though Jonathan hadn't been a part of the rowdier group, he still ended up making a late night phone call, asking for a ride home from the police station. While she was disappointed in Jonathan for getting into a situation like that, she found that the greater part of her anger was directed at Tony for pushing her to let him go. Even as they drove through the darkness in the middle of the night, he stubbornly insisted that it still had been a good idea. That she still should have allowed Jonathan to go camping, regardless of what happened. It was at this point that her worry and anger came to a head, and she exploded at him before falling into a sulky silence for the remainder of the trip. The standoff lasted three days with each of them going about their own lives, consciously making an effort to avoid speaking to one another unless absolutely necessary. Then, just as Angela was about to concede defeat and seek him out, Tony surprised her and beat her to the punch.  
  
How he still managed to surprise her after all this time was one of the things she found most endearing about him. He'd stuck his head around her office door earlier in the evening, asking if she had a moment to talk. She nodded happily and gestured for him to sit on the couch as she got up and came around her desk. They sat down facing each other but not really making eye contact. Finally, Tony broke the silence by speaking up and telling her that he was sorry. Not for thinking it had been a good idea to let Jonathan go, but for taking sides against her. This apology, though a partial one, was enough for Angela, and she finally met his eyes and gave him a smile. She apologized too, for taking her worry and anger out on him when it really hadn't been his fault. She knew that he always had Jonathan's best interests at heart, even if she disagreed with him. And just like that, the fight was over.  
  
Perhaps she would have been able to continue working had it not seemed perfectly natural to give each other a hug after making up. Maybe if they hadn't held each other a moment too long, she would have been able to forget that it had ever happened. But there was something about that hug which shot a shiver up her spine in the moments before Tony had broken away and excused himself from the room. Another missed chance.  
  
Angela breathed a sigh of frustration as she rose from her desk. Suddenly a snack seemed very appealing.

It was later than she realized and the house was mostly dark. Dark except for the flickering of the television, which illuminated the form of Tony sitting on the living room couch. He was watching the weather channel, which was something he often did on nights where sleep evaded him. It was this thought that distracted Angela from the path to the kitchen. Instead, she found herself walking around the couch and sitting down beside him. The look of surprise on his face told her he hadn't know she was there, but the smile that replaced it told her he was glad she was.

"Having trouble sleeping?" she asked him sweetly.  
  
He nodded. "A little. You?"  
  
She shrugged her shoulders and admitted, "Something like that." She found herself caught up in his gaze and it took a moment for her to continue. "Anything you need to talk about?"  
  
Tony hesitated, not wanting to tell her the real reasons for his wakefulness. Lamely he replied, "The usual. School, work, family, life... Just too much going on to relax, you know?"  
  
She did know, only too well. The usual – wanting Tony, loving Tony, needing Tony...  
  
He interrupted her train of thought. "You seem like you've got a lot on your mind too. You're not still upset about what happened with Jonathan, are you?"  
  
A small sigh escaped her. Not exactly the topic foremost on her mind, but it would be nice to talk things over with Tony after not speaking for so long. "It's just that..." she began. "I worry about him Tony. Who he is now, and what he's going to become. He's so awkward, so much like me. But also too much like Mother. All those sarcastic remarks he makes...and then this. Sometimes it seems like he's trying too hard to be anything but who he is."  
  
Tony took her hand in his and rubbed it gently, listening to her concerns. Angela continued, "I am proud of him, it's just that...sometimes I don't feel like I've been a very good influence on him." She trailed off, suddenly self-conscious.  
  
Tony looked at her for a moment before speaking. "Eh-oh Angela. You're a great mother – don't you ever doubt that. And Jonathan, he's a terrific kid. No, he's not super-athletic or super-popular, but he's smart and he's got a good heart. As for taking after you... That's not such a bad thing. You've grown into a beautiful, wonderful, caring, successful, and beautiful woman."  
  
Angela blushed uncomfortably at the compliments, but couldn't help but notice he'd called her beautiful twice. "Then why did you push so hard to get me to change my mind about the camping trip?"  
  
"Because," he stopped, suddenly realizing his true motives for the first time. "Because I wanted him to be more like me." As a smug smile began to appear on Angela's face, he added, "I just... Well, I ah... I think it's good for a guy to be a little wild in his youth, sow a wild oat or two."  
  
"Don't you ever regret sowing quite so many oats?" she asked.  
  
"A few of them, yeah – because they hurt somebody else or they've come back to haunt me as a father. But it's all a part of me, I don't want to regret living life." He noticed a sad, far off look come over her. "Hey," he asked her, "You got regrets?"  
  
"A few," she replied absently.  
  
Tony squeezed her hand and brought her back to the present. "Are you regretting something now?"  
  
Angela slowly brought her eyes up to his and they shared an intense gaze. She considered his proximity, the way he was holding her hand, and the look in his eyes before finally speaking. Now or never, she thought. Out loud she said, "I regret...you." She watched as confusion and fear and then hurt slid over his features before settling on a look of practiced neutrality.  
  
"You regret me?" he asked, pulling his hand away from hers. Her hand followed his and he looked down in surprise as he felt her touch.  
  
"Tony, I regret...missed chances, missed opportunities. All those times when we were so close and I pulled away or you pulled away. Tony, why can't we ever just take a leap of faith?" She felt the courage she had gathered begin to slip away as he stared at her in silence. It was no use, she thought, they were never going to be anything more than just friends. Tears began to prick her eyes and she lowered her gaze lest Tony see how vulnerable she really was.  
  
Seemingly out of nowhere, Tony's hand reached up and cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. She was ready to bolt, to run, and hide away when at last he spoke.  
  
"Angela, I regret me too. I regret my lack of courage, my stupidity, that keeps me from telling you that I..." He hesitated, realizing the enormity of what he was about to say.  
  
Angela finally allowed herself to look fully into Tony's eyes, willing him to complete the sentence.  
  
As he watched her, contemplating what he should say, Tony finally realized something, the answer was staring him in the face, literally. He brushed away a stray lock that had fallen across her cheek and spoke her name in a hushed voice. "Angela, I'm gonna take a leap. I'm gonna tell you I love you and then hope and pray you feel the same."  
  
It took a moment for his words to sink in properly and even then she wasn't sure she'd heard him right. "You love..." Angela began.  
  
"I love you." He interrupted and watched as a smile grew slowly on her face, starting at the corners of her mouth until it reached the warmth of her eyes.  
  
"Oh, I'm so glad," she breathed as she brought her lips within inches of his. "Cause I love you back."  
  
The kiss they shared was tender, but as the moments passed, they found themselves falling deeper into the other's embrace. They chose for once not to analyze or overthink their actions. They chose just to feel and discover and enjoy the other. When at last they broke away, gasping slightly for air, Angela allowed a small smile to play across her face. Tony self-consciously wiped her lipstick off his face and looked confused as a chuckle escaped her. "Wha? What's funny?" he asked.  
  
"We are." Her smile grew.  
  
"Yeah?" he prompted.  
  
"All this time, all those times we pulled back from admitting the truth. Now it finally happens, and it seems so simple. What were we afraid of?" She rolled her eyes and leaned back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
Tony watched her in amusement for a moment before falling back beside her. He grasped her hand and held it on his lap. When she finally looked back at him he grinned and answered, "Does it really matter?"  
  
Her eyes returned to studying the ceiling as she considered the question. Finally she rolled her head towards him, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, and replied, "Not a bit."  
  
They made no plans that night, and no promises beyond finding a way to be together and love each other. But the intensity of the kisses and touches they shared, promised more that any spoken word. At last they took a chance and chased all the regrets away. 


End file.
